Thank you all so very much for all your thoughts and words of wisdom. It really meant a lot to me to read your comments. I go back and re-read them when I get down on myself and they will always be there for me. Things are going a little bit better. My mother is still not coming around….and for those of you who wanted to know it was because I am a waitress at a strip club and apparently that makes me a “horrible daughter” and I apparently have “no Judgement” and my father is an “unfit” father” for allowing me to have such a job and looking the other way. (all stated by my mother) Anyways, enough of that.
I know that things mostly seem to work out and get better. I have had experience with this as far as I can remember. I have to remind myself that I must go through pain to come out of it….you can’t go around it. Coming out two years ago was difficult…but I did it. My parents were always accepting of that, and for that I am grateful. But, other choices such as choosing to work in a club and being a spanking star….I know they would not accept….my point proven when I told my mom about my job at the club. But I KNOW this is what makes me happier than ever. The vanillas in my life who know about my spanking stuff totally respect me for it…yea they might not all understand it but they think it is great that I am doing what makes me happy and they can all see it does. For those vanillas that wouldn’t accept or support me, I choose not to tell them.
I am so glad that I am a spanko and I feel so welcomed and loved in this scene. I am glad that you all like to watch me get spanked and spank. I am also a huge fan of so many spanking stars. I look up to everyone I have worked with and have so much respect for each and everyone of them.
Is it hard for you all to tell your friends and family about your spanking fetish…or that you do spanking videos (if you are on the web)? Who do you tell and who not….how do you make that choice? How would you handle it if the people you loved most didn’t accept it and talked down to you about it? I am curious to know the answers to these questions from you.
(and just a hint of how 2009 is going to start for me….LOT OF SPANKING SHOOTS!!!!….so get ready)
And just to give you a look at what a lot of you come here to see…..my spanked bottom…here ya go!
See me get spanked this week by the lovely Clare Fonda on Spanked Call Girls
And I will also be getting a good “mommy” spanking from Clare Fonda this week on Spanked Sweeties
And finally, check me out getting a spanking from Chelsea Pfeiffer in a Chelsea Spanks session at Good Spanking.
Sarah,
Glad to hear that you are feeling better. When you are feeling down, remember all the support that you have in the spanking community.
You and Chloe may HAVE been twin sisters in another life, as she has also worked at a strip club. {grin}
Looks like Clare and Chelsea really turned up the heat on your lovely bottom. Especially that last photo, with the hairbrush (my favorite implement).
Take care, Sarah.
Mark
That hairbrush spanking that Chelsea administered looks like it was a bitch. How long did it take your buttocks to heal? I once spoke with a colleague of yours who told me that a while a very hard spanking is not pleasurable in and of itself the endorphine rush that ensues afterwards is quite nice. Is that your experience (suffering followed by pleasure) or do you view getting spanked by Chelsea or Clair as just another day at the office?
Also I am curious, who is the hardest spanker; Clelsea, Clair or Audrey?
yeah, I also want to know who is the hardest spanker, hehe, but I know you probably don´t want to tell.
I think you are a very good writer.
Kisses and hugs.
sarah glad you are better now looking out for your next spankings on the sites love from tim.
I’ve told very few people about my spanko tendencies (this is my first post to any kind of spanko blog or forum, etc). In fact, I’ve told only one person in the past 16 or so years and that was a girl I was dating this past summer. She didn’t react well. I didn’t try to spank her or even tell her I wanted too, just that it was something I’ve felt for as long as I can remember. *sigh* I changed the subject rather quickly.
I struggle with my feelings and thoughts because of my Christian faith and my position in my local Christian community. I’m no pastor or anything, just someone very involved in my church and looked up to by many. As such, I feel quite alone and unable to share this part of me.
Anywho…..obviously I’m new here to your place on the www and quite disappointed to discover your sexual identity! LOL Kinda ruins my fantasy of one day getting to be the one spanking your lovely bottom! ;?) Of course there’s little more than a snowball’s chance in hell we’d ever even MEET…but that’s why it’s called fantasy. *sigh* Oh the thought……
ehem….I’ll be going now. Take care love. Just keep swimming!
1. Is it hard for you all to tell your friends and family about your spanking fetish…or that you do spanking videos (if you are on the web)?
I’m very cautious about who I tell. Not everyone in life is excepting of our spanking fetish. I’m not out to shock or scare people. A few of my vanilla friends do know and they’ve been very understanding about it.
As for family, my dad knows. He was fine with it. I could not tell my mom. As uptight as she is, she would throw a hissy fit from hell. I touched upon this subject during an interview with Adele Haze a while back. http://adelehaze.com/2006/10/25/ask-razor-ryan-a-question/
2. Who do you tell and who not….how do you make that choice?
I keep it concealed when I’m around anyone who’s narrow minded and too judgmental.
I don’t have the patience to deal with people like that. On the flip side, I only discuss my
fetish for spanking with others who have indicated in some way that they too share an interest in spanking or a fetish similar to it.
3. How would you handle it if the people you loved most didn’t accept it and talked down to you about it?
Frustrated and sad…I have no desire to be judged in a negative or closed minded fashion. As for handling it, I would ask them to simply accept it and know that I’m happy and safe.
Sarah, these are great questions. I think a lot of us can very much relate to what you’ve been going through. You are certainly not alone. I was glancing through the reader’s comments on your Dec 1st thread. Audrey’s post really nailed it. Quote: “Aww Beautiful! Don’t be sad. And screw all the people who make light of your problems. I wish you could see yourself from everyone else’s eyes. Nobody thinks you’re a failure.”
Audrey pretty much said it all right there, that was great.
Have a great week Sarah. Hope to meet you sometime at an SL weekend party or maybe a video shoot some day.
Thanks, Razor
P.S. Your pics with Clare and Chelsea are Hot…Way Hot!!!
Ooops, I pasted the wrong thread when I mentioned Adele.
http://adelehaze.com/2006/11/10/interview-with-razor/
Thanks, R.
Sarah;
I’m glad you’re feeling better. And as always the pictures look wonderful. It looks like these spankings are more real spankings than just a shoot, probably to help you get better.
Thanks for letting us enjoy some of that.
your disciplinarian in S. Fla. (I can dream, can’t I… LOL!)
LordHarHand
Dear Sarah,
It sounds to me like your mother is unhappy with her own life (or at least certain aspects of it) and is taking it out on you–sort of like, “Well, I have to blame SOMEONE!”
But it’s really her problem–don’t let her make it yours.
And, as y0u say, enough of that.
Some wonderful pictures–thanks for posting them!
Sarah’s being spanked….all’s right with the world… 🙂
Dr. Ken
Thank you all for your responses. I like hearing about your thoughts too and reading your comments, so thank you.
P.S. – They are ALL hard spankers and good spankers as well. Each spanker delivers a different feeling of hardness, but it is all equal. Clare’s are very very stingy and whack down from a firm and flat hand , Chelsea’s are stingy and heavy but starting off a little lighter as to give a good warm up to ensure the spankee and endure a longer spanking, and Audrey’s are heavy and she tends to cover a larger portion of the bottom while spanking with the cup form in her hand.
Bit late posting to this one. Glad to hear that you are feeling better and from subsequent posts you have put up are out and about having some fun again 🙂 I haven’t actually told anyone about my interest in this for a long time actually; only person I have ever shared any of this with was an ex-gf from a few years ago who didn’t mind the idea of a few short soft sensual spankings but wasn’t really into anything beyond that like roleplay etc. I was only really confident enough to tell her as she had already revealed a slightly more open view of different interests even if she didn’t share all of them.Have’nt really risked it with anyone else yet!
anyway very hot pics as usual and good to see you up and about(and getting spanked !) again 🙂